MTM's unexpected relaunch and heartfelt public statement. Was it necessary?

I didn’t think I’d ever have to blow the spiderwebs off of this blog. As a matter of fact, I was almost done with photography altogether and writing was nowhere in sight. But God knows what we need, when we need it and the way He plans to achieve His bigger plan through us.

For those of you who are unaware, my name is RayAndra, but everyone calls me Ray. I started my journey as a photographer in 2010, not because I had a burning desire to become a photographer, but because I strongly felt like it was something the Lord wanted me to do. I’ll save the details of my story for another post at another time.

I’m a believer, a creative, who over the years fell in love with cameras. In 2018/2019 I experienced an event that shook me to my core. My faith was in question, I lost my drive to create, and somedays it felt like I was hanging on by a thread. 

I put my camera down.

Ironically I began working as a videographer for one of our leading news organizations in The Bahamas. But in that space I was able to detach myself from the thing that helped to make me the person I am today. News was news in my opinion. I didn’t have to give of myself creatively to complete my assignments. I would show up, shoot, send the necessary files to my editor who wrote the story, I put the video together, send it back to her to post online and that was it. 

I wanted to be a normal person with a normal life with a normal job. I hoped that this new state of normalcy would give me an excuse to divorce myself from anything that reminded me of life before the trauma; MTM included.

As a result of that, my social media pages died. I put my business on pause with little to no desire of ever pressing resume again. I referred inquiries to my colleagues, facebook, instagram and my website came to a complete halt, as I was no longer interested in all of this. Keep in mind I still took on jobs for clients who have been with me from the very beginning. Every photographer knows the faithful ones, where no matter what is going on in life, they’re not going to someone else. I’m forever grateful for them. Regardless, this was the bed I made and I was prepared to lay in it without considering the ramifications.

Fast forward to December 2023.

While healing (as best as I could) through the trauma, a makeup artist - now someone I consider a friend- and I decided to collaborate for a headshot and makeup promotion. We were navigating through a pandemic and making a few extra dollars in between lockdowns didn’t hurt.

I allowed her to deal with the scheduling and booking because I honestly didn’t have the mental or emotional capacity for it. She understood and gladly took on that side of the business. I’m super grateful for her, too.

There was little to no promotion on my end. I would post flyers on my whatsapp status, but to push and advertise somehow reopened the gaping wound that refused to heal. I was reminded of the person I was before the trauma. Yet the Lord still allowed us to have great success. Cycle after cycle we would have clients asking us when is the next promotion because they missed out on the last one. 

Last December we were supposed to set a date but our schedules didn’t permit it. So we decided to come back in the new year, after everyone recovered from the Christmas rush. 

After years of intentionally working through the trauma, I felt like I wanted to come back for real. God healed the wounds and made it possible for me to wholeheartedly pick up the thing that helped to connect me to my overall life’s purpose. So I thought once Mandisa and I go public with the next promotion, I’d let this be the launchpad for my reentrance. 

Little did I know, the Lord would want me to go about it the right way. I firmly believe that as a believer, Christ should have access to and take Lordship over every area of my life. My business is not exempt from that. 

We put out the flyer and for the first time in 2 years I posted to the MTM facebook and instagram pages. Then the conviction kicked in. A small voice nudged me, saying something along the lines of, “So you want new people to work with you when you haven’t responded to the ones who are sitting in your inbox.” 

Believe me when I say this is something I didn’t want to do. But I knew that it was better to yield and obey than to ignore the tugging on my heart. 

Thankfully working in news gave me greater insights on the power of putting out a public statement. I understood that for the past 3 years I neglected to serve existing and potential clients through the gift God gave me. It doesn’t sting as much as it used to, but that too is all a part of the healing process. 

I reached out to a ghostwriter friend of mine to help flesh out what needed to be said. With the first draft completed, I was able to edit and give my voice to this public apology and reintroduction.

I didn’t think putting out the statement would get so much attention. I had people who I haven’t talked to in years write me to say they respected me for doing it. To them it was a public display of humility, sincerity, accountability and integrity. 

To me it was a total act of surrender and repentance. Not my will, but Yours be done.

So to answer the question, “Was it necessary?” Maybe not to most. But for me, I know to whom my life belongs and when He speaks, I simply respond. 

I’m looking forward to 2024 and all of the things that lie ahead. If the rest of the year is anything like how it began then I’m definitely in for a roller coaster ride. 

Nevertheless, after a 3 year hiatus … I can’t say that I expect it to be any other way…